"DS Winn, who talks like the Easter Island head in Night at the Museum, saw the pic of my car and said 'Really? That's your pride and joy? An old Volvo?"
"I've heard through the private news network that we might get a phone call soon after white phase begins. I hope they are right."
"I forgive you for putting tofu in the spaghetti. I'd pay good money for a decent bowl of spaghetti. 'Army ketchup with noodles' is no exaggeration around here."
"You asked about the food. It's hard to explain. It's not good, but it's not bad. It's not too filling but not filling enough. If a high point is pudding and strawberries, you can guess towards the flavors in the average chow hall meal."
Regarding combat training, "Next thing I know, I have a bloody nose and a fat lip. I was told to go sit down until my nose stopped bleeding. This is where I'd love to tell you that as soon as my nose stopped bleeding, I got up and charged back into the ring. But what really happened is that I sat down and milked that bloody nose for all it was worth and didn't go up against the evil Rocky villain again."